Situationship! This type of definition-free relationship is becoming more frequent these days as no one wants to stay committed to anyone anymore. This kind of relationship is different from ‘friends with benefits’ where two people just hook up with a minimal conversation about each other’s life.
When it comes to ‘situationship’ there is more connection and conversation that kind of make things gloomy. We can say it is a transitional phase for two people as they get to know each other better before they stay committed to each other.
So how do you know you are in a situationship? Here are 10 signs that show that you are on the ‘S’-Ship.
10 Signs You Are in a Situationship
- There is no progress: When it comes to relationships, there are certain stages you’ll reach and you should see growth. You have dinners together, share a Saturday night, meet friends, spend time on calls and chat, share a holiday, become exclusive, and say your first “I love you” and other kinds of stuff like that. When these do not occur, that is a red flag.
- You are not part of each other’s life: As you become a couple with someone, you go to their favourite places together. You visit them and meet their friend. You go to their favourite restaurant. You spend time with people they care about. You are shown and mentioned on their social media. When these integrations do not take place, it’s a sign that things are not moving towards a deeper more meaningful relationship.
- No future talk: A normal part of a relationship involves planning for the future, whether that is trying a new restaurant, planning a trip, or introducing you to a friend who will be in town. If they aren’t talking to you about events coming up they want you to be a part of, it is a sign that this person is not counting on you being around in the future. They are probably seeing you like a banana peel. Eat and throw away.
- You don’t go on actual dates: Okay! this part is very important and vital. Part of the dating process involves courting one another. Also, taking someone out shows an investment in the relationship and the person. It is also a way of showing off the person you claim to love. So, if the person you’re with goes out and does outdoor dining with their friend, but chooses not to take you out, you’ve got a problem.
- You have not had the ‘define the relationship’ (DTR) talk: At some point, every relationship hits a moment where it needs to be defined. Are you dating other people? Do you have romantic feelings towards me? Do you believe in monogamy? Do you want to be exclusive? Most people put off this conversation for as long as possible. When you are three to six months into the relationship and nobody has brought this up, that is unusual. It is not a great sign and you may need to be the one to initiate that conversation if you are hoping to turn your situationship into a real relationship. If you notice a change in their behaviour whenever you start this conversation, then that is a red flag.
- There is no concrete proof you are a couple: His/her friends have never heard of you. His/her family does not know you exist. There’s no sign of you on his/her social media not even posting you on WhatsApp. It’s understandable at the beginning of a relationship but at a certain point, it becomes a meaningful indicator of where you stand.
- You are anxious or bored a lot of the time: When you don’t have regular dates, phone calls, or text messages, that inconsistency can ultimately get to you and leave you feeling anxious. Also, when you just hang out at each other’s places and no romance can lead to boredom. If you are feeling these things, that can be a sign that you are in a situationship that isn’t on the right track towards becoming something more meaningful.
- The convention is superficial: When things stay at a surface level that shows that the person is not taking the time to get to know you or share parts of themselves with you. Without connection, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy things cannot progress. These are the foundations for connection and meaningful romantic relationships.
- They don’t call or text you: Fine, they might be busy with work and other activities and might even have the time to call or text. But when you like someone, you will always find that little time to drop something like a call or text on WhatsApp. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a long convo it may be short and precise. So, if you notice they don’t make the slightest effort to call or text you, then you’ve got a red flag.
- They say they aren’t serious: If your partner says that they aren’t serious, or ‘aren’t looking for anything serious then you should take them at their word. Even if it feels like you are doing things that a couple does like date nights, and even if you feel like you have an emotional connection, if they say they don’t want something serious then they do not want something serious!! Listening to people when they say this and recognizing that you are in a situationship NOT a relationship will save you a lot of heartbreak down the line. It can be difficult to keep your feelings out of it when you feel as if someone’s words aren’t aligning with their actions, but it is important to take people at face value and listen to them when they talk about the status of your relationship.
Now don’t get confused. Sometimes, situationship can work. Both people must be on the same page and are having the same interest. If you are starting to feel frustrated, it may be time to initiate a DTR (define your relationship) conversation. You won’t know until you ask.
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Situationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing. They can be great for people that aren’t ready to commit to a full relationship but are still looking for emotional and physical connections.
Remember that situationships are not necessarily a bad thing, but they are not everyone’s cup of tea. And they can be confusing and frustrating for people that are looking to pursue a relationship but aren’t getting anywhere with their partner. If all the signs point to the fact that you are in a situationship, but you don’t want to be, it’s time for you to move on.