When it comes to Nigerian weddings, especially Yoruba traditional ones, one of the biggest things people talk about is the Bride’s List also known as Eru Iyawo.
How long is the list?
What exactly is on it?
Who prepares it?
These are the questions that keep flying around once the wedding bells start ringing. To get the full gist, I spoke with a few of my Yoruba friends and family who’ve been through it or helped plan one. Trust me, there’s a lot more to it than meets the eye.
Before the Proposal, Seek Permission First
Before any man drops down on one knee to pop the big question, he’s expected to visit his girlfriend’s family to declare his intention to marry her.
It’s a respectful way to get the blessing of her parents and elders. Once that’s done and she says “Yes,” both families are informed about the engagement.
This sets the ball rolling for the family introduction where both families officially meet. It’s often held at the bride’s family home, and extended family members are usually invited too. What used to be a small, simple visit has now turned into a mini-ceremony with beautiful outfits and a lot of excitement.
Getting the Eru Iyawo List
After the introduction, the bride’s family prepares the Eru Iyawo list. This is done by the eldest person in the family, if the bride’s dad isn’t the eldest, he’ll get it from his senior brother or uncle.
This list is handed over to the groom’s family weeks before the wedding. It contains items the groom must bring as part of tradition and appreciation for the bride’s upbringing.
Although the bride herself doesn’t get to choose what’s on the list, both families can sit and agree on what will actually be presented.
Depending on the part of Yoruba land you’re from, the list might vary slightly. Some add more, others keep it short and simple. But overall, the core items are usually the same.
Items On the Eru Iyawo List
Here’s a rundown of some of the most common Eru Iyawo items, based on what my Yoruba friends shared:
- Bride Price (usually any amount)
- Proposal Letter
- Travel Luggage
- Jewelry Set
- Brand New Outfits for the Bride
- Bible (for Christians) or Qur’an and prayer items (for Muslims)
- Engagement Rings
- Salt, Sugar & Honey
- Tubers of Yam
- Fresh Fruits & Basket of Fruits
- Alligator Pepper & Bitter Kola
- Packaged Water
- Dish Fish (Dry Fish)
- Umbrella
- Some monetary gifts in envelopes (used for different parts of the ceremony)
These days, how the Eru Iyawo is packaged really counts. It’s not just about what you bring, it’s how you present it. From fancy boxes to beautifully wrapped baskets, the packaging can be a whole event on its own
Another thing that came up in my conversations is that grooms, inform your guys early. There are moments during the traditional ceremony when extra cash will be needed on the spot, for spraying, for elders, or for settling little unexpected things.
So, it’s wise to let your groomsmen or close friends know in advance. That way, nobody is running around looking for change or panicking when it’s time to settle elders. Save yourself the awkward moment.
Yoruba traditional weddings are rich in culture, filled with love, laughter, and lots of beautiful customs. Eru Iyawo is one of the major highlights, it shows gratitude, tradition, and a whole lot of respect.
So if you’re planning your wedding or just curious about what happens behind the scenes, I hope this gave you some insight.
